Well, now you do. TenOneDesign announced their game controller that basically takes your iPad and gives it analog sticks that attach to the string by using suction cups. These suction cups can be placed anywhere along the screen. The actual device is ready to buy in late January, and costs $25 for one, and $38 for a two-pack.
Now whether you get one or two, whether you get them to beat all your fiends on blue-tooth or wi-fi, or even if you just want to be able to beat that impossible level, these small joysticks are definitely worth the small price. They give you the joy and easiness of having your console, and allow you to go to the next level with your gaming,